In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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