Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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