I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
