Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
God, I missed his penis.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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