Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
