I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
