i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
