dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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