I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
