Umm I'm too high to move.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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