he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
