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Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
