I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
