UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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