dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
