Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
