I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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