why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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