This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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