He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
