I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
