I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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