She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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