I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
