Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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