I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Come share oat with me in your robe
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
