i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
