smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
