The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
