Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
