the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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