I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i barfeds in our rink
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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