I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
