Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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