Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize