farters have to be the big spoon...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
