I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
