believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
