is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
