did you get engaged???
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
