went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
