she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
