remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
