David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
