So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
