Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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