thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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