spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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