Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
