I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
