we have officially lost it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
