I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i dont even know how to be here
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
