I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
