I think my vagina is haunted
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
