I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
