would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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