My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
